Never Too Old For Disney
by hyper-chipmunk
Summary: What happens when Kaylee and River make Mal watch an old Disney movie from Earththatwas with them and Mal actually finds some good advice in the lyrics of a particular song? MI people!


A/N : Don't own firefly, it's lovely characters or anything Disney, i'm just playin for awhile. This is what happens when you watch Firefly right after going through your old Disney collection...enjoy!

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**Never too old for Disney **

As Mal sat on the couch of the common room of Serenity he looked around and took in his current situation as he thought back to where he had gone wrong with his life. He had left home, fought a war, bought a boat and found a crew to keep her flying; he had been kicked, tortured, punched, slapped, bitten, shot and stabbed. He had killed people, lied, stolen and beaten lawmen senseless. He was most definitely not a child anymore, hadn't been for many a year, but he could not figure for the life of him how he had ended up where he was. He had argued and complained, tried to pull rank and gave orders but it didn't seem to do any good. He was stuck, he racked his brain but he couldn't think of one legitimate reason as to why he dissevered the torture he was about to ensue. Surely all that stuff he did weren't all that bad right? Nothing he had done deserved this treatment.

"_Mei Mei_ why is it again that I am sitting here with you and the lil' Albatross watching an old children's movie from Earth-that-was? Shouldn't we be doin' something more important? I have captainy things that need doin' you know." He said as he stood up and tried for his best Captainy look to stare her down.

"Aw come on Cap't you know we ain't got nothing to do out here in the black, I just saw to Serenity not half an hour ago she'll be fine for a while, movie's not that long anyway." Kaylee answered "Besides you know we ain't anywhere near a planet so you got no jobs to set up, which means you got nothing better to do."

"Well shouldn't you be flyin' my boat lil' one? If we all crash into something and die I'm blaming you ya know" Mal turned his attention to River as he tried to think up an excuse to stop the torture he was about to endure but his attempts seemed to be futile.

"The human memory is fickle, makes you think you forget things. Encoding is an active process that requires select attention and sometimes needs enrichment by visual imagery. Once something is stored it's never lost we just don't know where to look for it, sometimes have to take a journey to find it." River said as she turned her head towards Mal.

Damn girl had done it again, he tried to understand the girl he really did, she even seemed to be doing better since the whole Miranda episode but when she talked like this sometimes he thought it better not to say anything so as not to confuse himself more.

"That mean you forgot you was my pilot little one?" oh well he tried, never was one for doing what made most sense anyway.

"Serenity's on auto-pilot" she gave him a glare "I don't remember the movie" she looked away "gotta find it in my head."

"Well once you find it then we won't have to watch it right?" Mal tried talking his way out of his dilemma hoping maybe he could negotiate his way out of this situation.

"Won't remember unless I see it Captain Daddy." River smiled at him and pulled his arm till he sat down on the couch right between her and Kaylee and they started watching the movie. Apparently no negotiating in the verse would work now even with all his thievin' and negotiating skills he was at the mercy of a young mechanic and his even younger pilot, he must be going soft in his old age.

"Where'd you get this old thing anyway? Simon get it off the Cortex for you?" he questioned eyeing both girls.

"Nah I was bored one night and found it myself, Simon won't watch it with me, said something about having to stock the infirmary or somethin'."

_Ai ya_ why couldn't he have come up with an excuse like that? Or better yet why had that worked for Simon and not for him? Doing captainy things is just as important right? He had a bad feeling about this movie, something weren't right here and he aimed to figure out what.

"Besides this was my favorite movie when I was young, got some good memories of this here movie, thought I might share the good times with everyone else but it seems they've all run off." She said with a pout in her voice, and was that a tear he saw forming in her eye?

_Tzao-gao, _he couldn't stand seeing Kaylee all mopey-like, now he'd have to watch the _Zhen sa _movie whether he wanted to or not.

Mal resolved himself to his role and put an arm around each girl and let them snuggle up to him as the movie started playing past the opening credits.

He didn't even make it twenty minutes into the movie before he wanted to think of some excuse, anything at all that would possibly get him out of watching a talking crab and flounder, not to mention all the singing, how in the verse do crabs sing anyway? And that octopus lady was all manner of creepifyin, let alone those little eel things that she had. He contemplating put his gun to his head but figured he could never pull the shot off in time with the two girls currently hangin on him like a jungle gym. Where were the gorram Reavers when you needed them?

Once again Mal tried to think of a legitimate excuse to leave the room and this _fahng-tzong fung-kwong duh jeh_ of a movie but he looked down and saw their two smiling faces and couldn't help but smile in return. _'Zhòu mà _I'm gonna have to watch this whole movie.' He finally realized.

"Why's that little lady listenin' to that little crab thing anyway? I ain't never met a crab that was smart enough to tell me anything worth hearing." He asked no one in particular after a few minutes.

"First of all his name is Sebastian, not crab thing and he's very smart for a crab you'll see, just close your mouth and watch the movie cap't.

"If you say so _mei mei_" and left it at that choosing to ignore the fact she had just given him a direct order and he obeyed without objection, wait, wasn't he the captain on this boat?

Another song had just started playing when Inara decided to make an entrance into the room and took in the sight before her. Mal was resting comfortably on the small couch with Kaylee and River snuggled up on his chest and deeply immersed in what seemed to be some sort of cartoon that was singing about the highlights of living under the sea. She couldn't help but smile at the sight and let loose a small chuckle while she studied Mal for a moment.

She had been trained as a Companion and as such she was excellent at reading people like a book and right now Mal was a very entertaining book. His body language and his eyes were saying two totally different things but she knew that even though he tried to make it seem like he was in pain at watching the movie, he was enjoying himself with the two young girls so at peace on his chest. It was so rare they had calms like this in their world and she knew Mal would do everything in his power to keep them happy, even if it meant listening to singing crustaceans. That was what she loved about that man, he would sacrifice his own happiness if it meant a smile from his crew.

Mal noticed Inara's arrival and waited until the end of the song to nod his head in her direction and yell a quick welcome her way. "Mornin' Nara, sleep well?"

"Just fine thank you, I see you're having fun over there. What are you watching?" she asked with a smile on her face and a mirthful tone as she prepared herself some tea.

"_Mei Mei_ what's this thing called again?" he asked resting his chin on top of her head.

"The Lil' Mermaid" she said quickly before shushing him and turning her attention back to the movie.

"Well there you go, you ever seen it? Lotsa song and dance and not nearly enough thieving if you ask me." He said in a lowered voice as both River and Kaylee lifted their heads to glare at him for interrupting the movie again.

"You wanna join? We got some room here on the couch." He offered up lightly, motioning to an empty spot next to River on the couch with his head.

"As tempting as that sounds" she managed without breaking into a hearty laugh "I think I'll pass this time. I don't like to see movies from the middle and I'm not that fond of sea creatures." She said smiling at his discomfort again.

'_Ai ya _there's that smile again, how the hell she do that?' Mal was sitting down and still felt his knees go weak, had he been standing when she did he was rightly sure he wouldn't be anymore.

For some reason he seemed to be losing all sort of control around the female members of his crew, especially the beautiful Companion who had positioned herself next to the couch to say hello to the rest of the crew.

'Hard to be captain of a boat and rule with an iron fist when you melt with a single smile or a tear. _Zhòu mà_ women folk and their leaky eyes and feminine wiles' Mal complained to himself 'man like me's got no chance in hell 'ganist that and I know it, can't help but notice they all do too.' He remembered Kaylee's order barely a few minutes before his thought.

Inara had stayed for a few minutes then chosen to take her tea back to the table just out of ear shot of the small screen the movie was playing on but not out of Mal's eye sight. Every so often his mind would wander and his eyes would follow, it was a kid's movie after all not much thrillin' heroics to keep him occupied for long. Every time, his eyes and mind both seemed to end up on the same subject, namely the woman sitting at the table sipping her tea and minding her own business like she usually did.

They had been all manner of civil to each other today and that thought alone put a smile on his face for a good long while, even managed to keep it through some song a rather odd lookin French fella sang as he tried to boil and stuff the little crab thing, what was his name again Bastion? Hell when Inara got up and re-filled her cup and returned to her seat at the table his smile was still placed on his face, never thought he'd stop smiling with his girls by his side and Nara across the way, what could possibly rain on this little parade? He soon found out the perfect way to ruin it as the beats of a few notes started playing in the background threatening another song. 'Ain't this music ever gonna stop?' he sighed and readied himself for yet another song.

_Percussions, strings, winds, words,_

_There you see her, _

_Sitting there across the way  
She don't got a lot to say_

_But there's something about her_

For once he stopped thinking about other things long enough to listen to the words of the song and found it to be quite interesting and the situation vaguely familiar, so much so his eyes seemed to have grown a mind of their own as they wandered back towards Inara as the song continued.

_And you don't know why_

_But you're dying to try_

_You wanna kiss the girl_

'Oh no, this can't lead to nothing but trouble if my brain keeps working the way it is right now' he tried to focus on something else but kept listening to the words of the song despite all his efforts.

_Yes, you want her_

_Look at her you know you do_

_Possible she wants you to _

_There is one way to ask her _

_It don't take a word_

_Not a single word _

_Go on and kiss the girl_

'Huh, never been much for fancy words, usually slips up somewhere between my head and my mouth, always fancied myself a man of action…' his mind trailed off his eyes still locked on Inara's delicate form in the chair only a few feet away from him as he pondered the crab's words. If he got up he could have her in his arms in less than thirty seconds and be kissing her in less than five seconds after that. 'Damn crabs trying to tell me how to run my life, don't need a preacher nor anybody else who was trying to tell him what to do.'

But then he thought about it for a second 'hmm maybe this crab ain't as bad as I thought.' He contemplated, trying to decide if he wanted to get up and make the attempt. 'Mama always did say animals was smart creatures maybe he's got a point after all, though she never mentioned sea critters as being 'specially smart.' His heart and his mind seemed to have double teamed him and were slowly breaking through all his emotional walls that surrounded his feelings and his heart, but mostly just the ones that kept him at arms length from the one person he wanted more than anything but would never let himself have.

Then doubt crept into his mind as the walls started building themselves up again. 'But what if she doesn't want me? What with the bein' a backwater petty crook and all, she probably wouldn't give me the time of day, not to mention that _zhòu mà _not servicin' the crew contract. I ain't good enough for a woman like her anyway, all I can get are whores who grew up with the silly girl.' He thought his mind returning to Nandi back at the Heart of Gold and those thoughts alone had him glued to his seat for the moment so he had no choice but to continue to listen to the child's song that was strangely very intriguing.

_Sha la la la la la, my oh my_

_Look like the boy too shy_

_Ain't gonna kiss the girl_

_Sha la la la la la, ain't that sad_

_Ain't it a shame, too bad_

_He gonna miss the girl_

Alright the _feihua_ song was mocking him now. How had a children's song written so many years ago been written so perfectly to suit him? And why did it make it sound like he was a wimp? He was no coward, he was a captain of a gorram space ship, not a whiney little prince wannabe on a rowboat who couldn't kiss a girl! He had more courage than that right?

_Now's your moment_

_Floating in a blue lagoon_

_Boy, you better do it soon_

_No time will be better_

_She don't say a word_

_And she won't say a word _

_Until you kiss the girl_

'The not saying a word part is the thing that's got me a bit skittish' he absently thought but loosened his grip somewhat unconsciously on the two girls resting on him and shot another glance at Inara. 'But if I don't do it she never will…' he quietly and rather quickly got up from his spot, getting only some mild protests from the two girls left without a pillow but too thoroughly engrossed in the movie to care too much and very slowly took a few steps toward Inara.

_Sha la la la la la don't be scared_

_You got the mood prepared_

_Go on and kiss the girl_

_Sha la la la la la, don't stop now_

_Don't try to hide it_

_How you wanna kiss the girl_

He took a few more small steps toward her direction and she finally turned her head to face him as she noticed his boot clad foot steps coming her way. "Well now Mal, skipping out on the movie already are you?" she teased.

If she was looking for a fight she would not find one today, no, he had other things in mind today. He was taking his time in making his move in her direction with no discernable emotion on his face as to his purpose and she noticed his rather slow and cautious approach. "Do you need something Mal? Maybe some tea?" she gestured holding up her cup of tea.

_Sha la la la la la, float along_

_And listen to the song_

_The song say kiss the girl_

_Sha la la la la la, the music play _

_Do what the music say_

_You gotta kiss the girl_

_You've gotta kiss the girl_

_You wanna kiss the girl_

_You've gotta kiss the girl_

_Go on and kiss the girl_

By the last chord of the song everything in him was shouting at him to do something and everything in the verse seemed to want him to do this one thing also so he had no choice but to comply. With his mind thoroughly made up that he was insane for listening to a children's movie for advice on his love life but didn't care in the least, he threw caution to the wind and did the one thing he never thought he'd allow himself to do. He intended to do exactly what the song told him and he pulled Inara from her chair with one quick but gentle movement and stood her in front of him.

"Mal what's.." that was all she got out before his lips connected with hers and she could not form a coherent sentence anymore. The initial shock wore off quickly as she realized that no, she was not dreaming; Mal was actually kissing her. The kiss was gentle but passionate and she couldn't help but go a little weak in the knees. She immediately responded and let out a small moan from somewhere in the back of her throat when he parted her lips and his tongue found hers for the first time.

'_Ren ci de Fo zu, _have I died and gone to heaven?' she never wanted it to end.

He tasted like fresh apples and coffee, no doubt from this morning's breakfast but there was a little something spicy she could only describe as pure Mal. She was intoxicated by his scent so close to her nose, the brown leather coat that she always wished she could wrap herself up in and the smell of his cotton shirt drove her crazy and she loved every second of it.

Never in all her years as a Companion or her training had she felt this sort of passion from one kiss. She tried with all of the will power she had left to take control of the kiss but she found that despite her training she couldn't do it. She had yet to meet a man that could best her but it seemed as though she had finally met her match, Malcolm Reynolds was too much for her and she enjoyed every second of her defeat, enjoyed being drowned in his love and didn't even consider doing a thing to stop it. If he was giving it freely who was she to refuse something she wanted just as much?

She gave in completely and wrapped her arms around his neck and snaked a hand into his hair to feel the soft locks of brown she had so long dreamt of running her fingers through. He responded with a groan of his own and wrapped his arms around her waist and surprised her by picking her up off the floor and gently sitting her down on the table with her legs slightly apart so he could stand in between them. If it was possible he deepened the kiss and she found even more passion in his actions and the rest of the world seemed to fade away until it was just the two of them and that hot passionate kiss.

From the couch Kaylee and River were smiling at each other, the movie momentarily forgotten in leeway of their giggles. "Told you it would work" River couldn't help but smile. "He'll never doubt crabs again either." And with that they let out a round of giggles and returned to the movie the newly joined couple just a few feet away totally forgotten.

When the burning in their lungs from the lack of oxygen was too great to ignore any longer they were forced to pull back from the kiss. He looked straight into her eyes and the two passed a glance at each other that seemed to both ask and answer all their questions without any words being said.

Inara felt the heat building in her depths and the only thing on her mind was getting Mal all the way to her shuttle before she jumped him. All of the things he had meant to say where left unsaid in his head as she slid off the table delicately and gently took his hand and pulled him from the room down the hall to her shuttle.

'Never let it be said that crabs were stupid animals, mama was right, you should always listen to em' was his last discernable thought before his mind was over run by what had just happened. He had kissed her and she had not pulled back, _wo de ma_ she didn't pull back, that means he might have a chance!

The insistent pull on his arm toward her shuttle gave him even more hope as they reached the hatch and the doors slid open and back closed again just as soon as the two of them set foot in the shuttle. He had no idea that just one kiss could start this chain of events but it was a chain he more than willing to follow to whatever end.

* * *

Back out in the common area Simon walked into to find Kaylee and River happily watching the end of the Little Mermaid, with grins spread wide over their faces. He was about to ask what was going on when River said "The prince found his princess and now they get to live happily ever after" and turned back to watch the end of the movie. Taking the hint that she meant the movie was over and he had missed the end, he turned to leave the room and ran straight into Jayne.

"Watch where yer goin' doc" were the only words exchanged and Simon left back towards his bunk.

Jayne made his way over to the couch with the two girls on it, looked up at the screen they were watching and promptly sat down right in the middle of both of them on the couch. Kaylee gave him a confused look for a second before scooting over and making more room for him and in return of her questioning glance he said simply "What ya lookin at? I love this movie, my sister use ta make me watch it all the time with her when we was growin' up, did I miss the part with chef Louie yet?" he asked looking at Prince Eric and Ursala's failed marriage attempt, clearly noting it wasn't over yet. River smiled and replied "Yeah, but we can always rewind it" she wanted to hear _that _song again in honor of the real life prince who finally got his princess.

* * *

Translations to the best of my ability/knowledge

mei mei: little sister

Tzao-gao: Damn it

Zhen sa: piece of nonsense

fahng-tzong fung-kwong duh jeh: knot of self indulgent lunacy

Zhòu mà : damn

* * *

Hope you liked it, had fun writing it, there is actually a higher rated version of this story but I thought I'd play it safe and keep it toned down here but if you want the rest of the mal/inara goodness go check it out at same title, but be warned it doesn't leave much to the imagination ;-) Give me a holler if you like it and if there should be a sequel or not, still havn't figured out if there should be or not. I'm still new at this so any kind of feedback is welcomed! thanks so much! 


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